Something Added to my Testimony

Some of you know my testimony very well, others just bits and pieces. I have never been good at telling everyone everything about my testimony because some parts I feel are so intimate to my feelings that I have a hard time opening up to some.

I think though, I have made it apparent to everyone that I once walked away from God. My great-grandmother Vesta was one of incredible faith in God and she suffered for months before she finally went to heaven. It was at the end of my 7th grade year that I decided to walk away from God. I didn't understand how He could let her suffer for as long as she did before he finally took her home.

Two days before she died, my parents, my twin and I went to go see her. She was existing in a body that no longer functioned. She was breathing and conscious, but that was all. She couldn't move, talk, and had to have oxygen to get enough. For a teenage girl who had always known her great-grandmother to be an independent woman, it was tough to take. It was too tough for me to take...

I had a hard time not crying when I saw her. I think everyone had a hard time. Vesta was one to read her Bible everyday, but she hadn't been able to read it on her own for over a month and a half. That day I got to read to her. I don't remember if I just picked something to read, or if I was told where my grandmother and grandfather had stopped in the book of Psalms, but I read Psalm 22-26. Four very hard to read King James Version chapters, but I made it through them.

Until this last Sunday (9/15/13) I never revisited those chapters. I always remember which ones I read to her, but I never reread them for myself. Sunday evening, our new pastor, started a series about Praying with the Psalms. And Psalm 22 was one that he read.

It was hard to explain (or contain) my emotions as he read that. I hadn't heard those words spoken aloud since the last time I read them 11 years ago. I was flooded with the idea and the notion (now that I understand better what actually happened to Vesta as she slowly passed from Earth to Heaven.) And this morning (9/18/13) I read all 4 of them together. These four Psalms are ones that I know was something she needed to hear. They aren't the most pretty Psalms (however the 23rd Psalm in the best known) and they talk about affliction and turmoil, but they also talk about love, grace and hope. The 22nd Psalm was something that our new Pastor took the time to explain in a way that I had never even heard or (or connected.)

In Jesus' time, the Old Testament was all they had for a Bible. It was Holy and most people knew the book of Psalms. When Jesus was hanging on the cross and He said, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" He wasn't asking a literal question (which was how I was taught growing up.) He was starting the 22nd Psalm, which starts out the exact same way. And I am sure that my grandmother was having some of the same feelings, being trapped inside her body that no longer worked.

Those four Psalms are now incredibly important in my testimony. I understand them better in a way that I have not before and it proves to me (again) that God is good. He takes the brokenhearted, the past, the bad stuff we have done (or that has been done to us) and He makes good things come from it.

God. Is. Amazing.

First Week of Work

I completed my first week of work as the Administrative Assistant for CB Deaf Ministry.
Although I have been volunteering for them since January of 2011, I have been much more involved in the entire ministry this past week. Working with my new boss has been incredible fun. We have been trying to catch up on the things that have been "on the back burner" as some would say.

This last week, between working at the ministry and my church I put in 31 hours.
31 hours! It has been so nice to have something to do. Maybe it's my ADHD, but not having a structured schedule has been hard for me. I at least now can have that structure and the responsibility I have missed since I graduate. (Yes, I can't believe I said that either!)

This morning while I was working, I met one of the Deaf pastors in Haiti on Skype. He was excited that I was helping Kathy with the ministry.
Also, today, we found out that our partner Deaf school in Uganda is in need of Sewing machines. They are $120 each! Last month I did a fundraiser for that school at my church--we raised $120 dollars! Their goal is 6 sewing machines. We have one down 5 to go!

Prayers are greatly encouraged so that we can continue doing what it is that we do.
Peace and Many blessings,
Cody Marie Bolton

O.o o.O 'Wait, what?!"

So that was literally my reaction to a text I received on Tuesday morning. (7.9.13). I even have a witness to prove it. I had literally just finished my usual 'shift' at my church. I had been working all morning in the church office, trying to schedule a missionary friend of mine to come speak to our congregation again. In the middle of her texting me what would work for her, she sends me a text that says, "What are you doing these days?" My reply "Working at the church and playing computer games."

Since I graduated from Northwest Nazarene University I have been unable to find a job. I have applied to places I am qualified for and over qualified for. Nothing was biting. No phone calls back. No emails. No interviews. NOTHING.

As those of you who read this blog know, that I am a very spiritual woman who will do what God asks me to do. (After all, I moved to Idaho to follow a calling to Deaf ministry). My friend, who owns CB Deaf Ministry sends me another text. She is looking for someone to help her run the ministry, especially when she is in Haiti training Deaf pastors there. She offered me a paid position through her ministry, which I have been volunteering for since January 2011.

Wednesday, we discussed the plans, details and things. I called up my parents in California, talked to my aunt and my grandma and took the job. Monday (July 15th) I start my training. I will train through the rest of the month. And then I will dig into this ministry thing.

For the past year, I have been working at my church as a secretary. And that has been wonderful. I am so excited about taking on this Administrative Assistant at CB Deaf Ministry because I will still be able to keep my job at the church!

I have been praying for months about what kind of job I would be getting. I was praying for the people I'd be working with, praying for timeliness, because I have student loans to pay. And it turns out those prayers were for my friend and her family.

This last semester of college was very, very stressful, but also very rewarding. I was trying to figure out what God wanted me to do, because I could not hear His voice. As the weeks passed, however, I began losing faith, thinking that I would have to move back to California to find a job. About a month after I graduated I successfully meditated (which is hard to do for a woman with ADHD), and God said my wait was almost over. What could it mean? I was looking for any answer and that was the answer I got. My church family was praying for me, and they are trying to help me out by giving me more hours per week that I get paid at the church, but I needed something else to make me self sufficient.

And it came. Working with a small ministry though, I will have to raise part of my own salary, like a missionary does, but I do not have a problem with that. Going to college has helped me live frugally, so I know how to stretch my dollars as and when they come. However, part of the deal would include moving in with her and her family. Many benefits to this move. (If you are interested in learning more....I'm usually on Facebook!)

I would LOVE to have your continued prayer. I do not know all what wonderful things this opportunity will bring for me, but I just ask that you pray for my continued faith, and my continued obedience in following God's call on my life.

Blessings, and Peace,
Cody Marie

ADHD: Blessing or curse?

Most people who know me, accept my moments of pure distraction and inability to focus.
When I was diagnosed in 2009 with ADHD, I had a feeling I already had it. Some of my friends growing up were diagnosed with it as younger children and I behaved very similarly to them, especially in the classroom.

As I was in school I felt as though ADHD was a curse because I couldn't do time management and I couldn't focus like my classmates.

When I was first diagnosed I was given medicine to help with the symptoms. I couldn't even last a month on them. Horrible, graphic and very realistic nightmares. I would wake up and have to convince myself they didn't actually happen.

As I grow in my Christianity and spirituality, I have come to realize that although my ADHD can be a hindrance  especially when I need to focus on reading the Bible and studying, but I have come to the conclusion God is using it for good.

Since I have graduated I have done an experiment. Unconventional experiment, for sure.
I pray and talk to God everyday, but during this experiment, I chose which days I would pray to God to help me be productive and chose other days not to pray this particular prayer.

On the days in which I prayed for productivity--many things were accomplished and I had a sense of accomplishments. On the other days, where I haven't asked God to help me be productive. I have spent those days feeling like I wasted time and felt like I was letting myself and God down.

Now, I have realized that this is actually a blessing. It not only keeps my focus more on God and His good graces, but it helps me to keep relying on God for everything in my life. And it has shown me what happens when I don't.

Perspective and perception is everything. If I stayed negative about my ADHD diagnosis, I would not have learned this yet (maybe never).

My advice to you: If you are diagnosed with a disorder or disease, don't look at it negatively. Sure, that's hard, but be open to see how God can use it and how He can teach you how to live with it and not to let it become you.

Many blessings.

San Francisco Mission Trip

Wednesday, April 10th-Sunday, April 14th 2013 

This is a week that I will never forget. 

I was privileged to go on my first mission trip that week. From Nampa, Idaho to San Francisco, California.

I was not sure what to expect. I had traveled to San Francisco several times with my family when I was younger, but I know my parents wanted to shield me from some of the "not so pretty" parts of town.

Being on a crammed charter bus for 12 hours was a lot to handle, no extra seats meant being cramped and uncomfortable. (Just enough space to get a bit of homework done in between some movies.)

Arriving just after midnight, I stepped out of the bus at New Life Church of the Nazarene and could smell the ocean air. I had missed that. The Delta Breeze was something I grew up with. Living 2 1/2 hours from San Francisco, I was still practically home.

That night we were assigned our groups that we would be traveling with. After winding down we all got a few hours of sleep, laying on the floor of that church.

Our group's first assignment was helping Operation Open Hand make hot and frozen meals for the homeless, and for those who have diseases that prevent them from making meals for themselves. Our group stayed there from about 11a-4p. During that time we made over 500 meals and packaged hundreds of frozen chicken breasts for them to be delivered as well. 500 meals does not sound like a lot, especially for the millions of people who live in San Francisco, but that's 500 people that were touched because of the work that we did. They may not know us, and we don't know them, but they were able to have a meal because of the work that we did with Operation Open Hand. Pictured below is my badge that I wore while I was there:

Here is OOH's website for more information about them: http://www.openhand.org/about-us/locations/

After dinner, we went to Sunset Youth Services to meet with the leaders there, whom we also partnered with for our entire trip. We got to see the work that they do with the at-risk children in their neighborhood. In their one square mile from their facility, there is a population of over 100,000 people--with many teenagers who have been kicked to the streets. Their mission is to have and create a safe place for them to grow. They specialize in CD records and culinary arts to teach them valuable trades.
Check them out: http://www.sunsetyouthservices.org/

Thursday morning, we went to Glide Methodist Memorial Church to help give breakfast to the homeless.
I had never done a soup kitchen before. Working on the food line, seeing those and directly affecting the lives of those who were hungry and "homebound" as OOH referred to them as (instead of homeless). In two and a half hours, we provided 680 meals for breakfast. At first, my particular role in the food line, seemed mundane. But as the people came in for breakfast, I began to understand why my role was so important. I was towards the end of the food line--I provided the coffee mugs for the home-bound to drink. That morning was particularly a cold morning. Everyone of them drank coffee to warm themselves up. I felt privileged to be able to provide that for them.

http://www.glide.org/ They are always looking for donations to be able to be able to continue the work that they do.

Later, we went to a piece of property in the middle of the city that was being turned into a community garden. Our job was to set the foundation and get the property ready for a community greenhouse. 4 hours of hard work in the sun as absolutely worth it. (And so were the sunburns.) The area in which we were at, there were many unkept houses and it was a low-income area--a greenhouse and garden was needed. Although I burned in the sun, I do not regret it. Because I know the hard work helped those designing the property for the neighborhood. 

And for dinner, our group went to the Castro District. For those not familiar with this district, it is also known as the "Gay District." Many gay bars and restaurants and businesses that are openly supporting those in the GLBT community. 

One particular store that our group walked into was a "Giants" store. They advertised for the Giants Baseball team, but walking in, there were many more bongs and cannabis related items. This picture I took was just one small section of the right wall in the store. If you put about 7 of these pictures back to back, then you could get just some idea of how many bongs and pipes were in this store...

Eating dinner in the Castro, helped me realize a little more about this community and really had me thinking about how the church treats them. I am still meditating and trying to figure out where I play into a role of helping them--but I have been thinking more and more about my calling and it seems to be opening up, not just to the deaf, but to the GLBT and to other marginalized communities that the church as a whole is leaving out of the dust. Jesus is probably shaking his head. 

Saturday was a special day--after two days of working, we could see other parts of the town and just be "tourists". However, the first place we all went to was the YMCA: this was our only shower on our trip. I have never felt so refreshed. 

We went to go across the Golden Gate Bridge and see the entire town from a touristy spot. Very beautiful town. :) 

We next, spent the evening in Pier 39. Most of us ate at Hard Rock Cafe. Awesome food. (The atmosphere on the other hand I particularly didn't care for. I've never been one much for hard rock music, but our waitress was super nice.) 

Sunday, we went back to to Glide Methodist for a worship service. I've never been to a church like that before. It was nice to sing the worship songs with them, but it was overwhelming for me. Everyone was just so into the songs and worshiping God that it was a very impressive sight. They let everything go and worshiped God with every fiber of their being. 

On the way home, I did a lot of reflection (and movie watching) about my week and how awesome it was.

We walked miles a day, worked hard for others and potentially impacted thousands of lives in our 4 day stay. If everyone has the opportunity to go on one mission trip: DO IT.

Something I learned: we don't have to leave our own country, our own state or our own neighborhood to be able to go on a mission trip to help others. There are hurting people everywhere (Yes, even in the United States) and its important for us to live out Jesus' calling. 

♫♪ "I Surrender All ♪♫

The famous Hymn "I Surrender All" is a wonderful hymn.
I grew up singing the words, but never really understood what it meant.

Today I finally understand what it means to surrender everything to the Creator of the Universe and to the One who resides in my very soul.

It's my last semester at Northwest Nazarene University and I have been trying to attend chapel, especially when there are guest lecturers who bring a different perspective to the table and who speaks differently than the beloved Chaplain Gene. (Don't get me wrong, I love Gene, but I also love it when other people come and speak and open my mind even more.)

This week, Dr. Diane LeClerc from NNU's Theology Department (and currently the expert on Christian Holiness in the Nazarene tradition) is bring her series on Christian Holiness.

Today she challenged everyone who came for chapel, to give up everything--the good and the bad, to be in the right place with God and with Jesus.  She called us out to give up everything, to surrender everything, to pursue a life of following and serving God.

I have been struggling with this for a few years. I had given up most everything to follow Jesus. But He still was not number one in my life.

Today, I gave God everything: all my fears, my anxiety, my ADHD, my work, my school, my sins, my everything. I have not experienced so much peace and excitement in my soul in a very, very long time.

For those of you who want a deeper spiritual life with Christ. I encourage you to do the same.
Yes, I haven't live this part of life very long and we are human and I'm sure there will be times where I will let God down, but through God's ever present Grace, I know that with God's help and God's Grace, you can have the same feeling of peace as well. :)

Many blessings and peace.
Cody Marie Bolton

One Step Closer

I cannot believe I finally did it (and before graduation too!)

I can finally call myself a Pastor (although Pastor Cody is just weird and Pastor Bolton is out of the question!)

On Thursday, February 7th 2013 my church board approved my local pastor's license!

I am in the process of looking for a mentor, someone who has walked down the road I am just starting. One who I trust to lead with the leadership God has given them.

To be honest, I wasn't even going to try for a local license until I finished my MA in Pastoral Ministry. I wanted to study what it takes to be a pastor before I became one. Apparently, this was not the road in which God thinks is best for me.

Although it has taken me a long time, I have come to the realization that God knows me better than I know me.

In the summer of 2011, I took the Strength's Finder 2.0 test. My strengths are Restorative, Empathy, Futuristic  Developer and Individualization.

My head is always either thinking about others, or thinking about the future. And what I was planning on doing changed because of one conversation I had with a person who felt the Holy Spirit's call to talk to me about the future I had envisioned for myself.

If it wasn't for that one person, I would not be a pastor right now.

At the end of 2012, God told me that 2013 was going to be a year of change. (2010 was my last "year of change.") But it is only mid-February and I cannot believe all the changes that have happened so far and the changes that will happen within the next couple of months!

The Outreach Pastor of my home church is resigning.
There will be a new Senior Pastor at the end of March.
I will be graduating with a BA in Communication Science in May.
I will find a career to help support my vocation of ministering to the Deaf (during the summer)
I will be financially stable.
I can start paying off all my debts. (mostly school loans)
I can start saving for a new car and a new home. (Goal is to buy a new car next year. I don't know if I want to live in the suburbs or move to the city.....been thinkin' about buying a condo.)
I can continue to build my credit.
I will be learning what it takes to become a pastor. (I eventually want to be an ordained elder in the Church of the Nazarene)
I will turn 25 this year.

Change can be challenging, but going out on a limb with God is very, very exciting.
Many blessings.
Cody Marie